Reaching for the Brass RingCOMPLETE
by Ginny3
Summary: Robert and Elizabeth--Sequel to Pilgrimage from Darkness
1. Default Chapter

Reaching for the Brass Ring  
  
By Ginny (vkinneman@aol.com)  
  
Sequel to Pilgrimage from Darkness  
  
All the stories in this series can be found at www.gkinneman.com. Up until this story the series has stayed reasonably close to canon. With this story canon has been thrown completely out the window.   
  
The story contains no spoilers for the new season.  
  
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Dawn broke with heat and humidity as it had for two straight weeks in Chicago. There was very little wind in the Windy City that morning noted Robert as he stepped out onto the deck with a bowl of cereal in his hand and the newspaper tucked under his arm. It was just after 6 on that Friday morning. He'd been back to work for almost two weeks and things were going fairly well. Sure he'd had his share of frustrations getting used to doing things one handed. But he was working through them. He found that splitting the day by seeing patients in the morning and doing the administrative part of his job after lunch worked best. Changing back and forth between the two facets of his job many times a day didn't work at all. The staff knew they were free to come to his office after lunch to complain, talk, or whatever, as long as the door was open. Not that many people actually stopped by. When the door was closed he was "unavailable". Usually that meant he was sitting with his feet up, CD player on, resting. He still hadn't regained the stamina to go 12 hour days without a break. That annoyed him to no end, while Elizabeth found it mildly amusing. She was the only one who was permitted to disturb what she called "nap-time" much to Robert's disgust.  
  
The ER staff hadn't exactly welcomed him back with open arms. But that wasn't a surprise given his actions during the few weeks before his surgery. Some people still gave him a wide berth when they saw him coming but a few, like Abby, took the time to talk to him and ask how he was doing. He tried to stay out of major traumas; it was during them he felt the most helpless. The one exception he did make was for traumas involving children. He was always in the middle of them, usually sitting by the patient's head talking to them, reassuring them. It was a sight many people had a hard time getting used to seeing. The idea of Rocket Romano actually having a heart and caring about someone was foreign to a lot of people in the hospital. But Robert didn't care all that much about what other people thought of him, he'd made that clear on more than one occasion. He was doing what he felt comfortable doing.  
  
After finishing the cereal and glancing at the headlines he called for Gretel and the pair headed back inside. An hour later, he was showered, shaved, dressed and ready to go. He still wore a shirt and tie to work but he was beginning to wonder why he bothered. Even though his ties hung in the closet loosely tied, like little nooses he often thought, it was still a pain to get them straight with only one hand. He knew it would be perfectly normal for him to wear scrubs but he just couldn't bring himself to put on the navy scrubs with Rocket Romano stitched above his heart. Somehow the nickname just didn't seem to fit him anymore. Looking back he couldn't even recall how he'd gotten it in the first place. Seemed like it was something he'd had all his life. In his eyes, a one-armed, has-been surgeon wasn't worthy of such a title. So his navy scrubs had been shoved in a plastic bag and relegated to the back of his closet.  
  
He got Gretel a biscuit, left a note for Dorothy and went outside to wait for Elizabeth. On the days they both worked he caught a ride with her, when she didn't work Dorothy took him or on the rare occasion that neither one was available, he called a cab. Same thing happened at night on the way home. If Elizabeth was caught in surgery and he was finished he usually waited for her. Sometimes he rested in his office and sometimes he went up to the observation suite to watch. If it looked like she was going to be a long time he'd call Dorothy or a cab. On the days Ella was in the hospital daycare and Elizabeth was stuck in the OR he took the little girl home with him.  
  
In general his life was going along pretty smoothly. He still went to Occupational Therapy twice a week and was making big strides. His decision to hold off on choosing a prosthetic device raised some eyebrows around the hospital. He knew people expected he would have the best and the most expensive model on the market. And when he first made the decision to go ahead with the amputation that was the direction he was leaning towards. But something happened those first few days in the hospital. It wasn't anything that he could put into words and nobody pushed him to do so. For the time being he was content to learn to live in the world as a one armed man.   
  
The sound of Elizabeth pulling into the driveway brought Robert out of his daydreams and he headed down the walk towards the driveway. He opened the sliding door of the van to toss in his briefcase and kiss Ella. She giggled happily and patted the top of his head while Elizabeth glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Robert hit the button and the door closed. He climbed in the passenger's seat and leaned over to kiss Elizabeth. "Morning Robert," she said as he managed to buckle the seat belt with a minimal amount of struggling.  
  
"Good morning Dr. Corday," he said with mock formality. "You're all dressed up today. Hot date?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
"Hardly, a 9:00 meeting with Donald," she said cautiously.  
  
"Donald hmm? It's about time I guess," muttered Robert as Elizabeth backed down the driveway. "So do you think he's going to make it official?"  
  
"Probably," answered Elizabeth keeping her voice even.  
  
"You've been doing the job of Chief of Surgery since I first went out on medical leave. It's about time he gave the job to you formally." Elizabeth said nothing but took the opportunity to glance at Robert at the next red light. He caught her eye and gave her a small smile. "It's ok. I'm glad it's going to be you."  
  
"Thank you," replied Elizabeth as she reached out to pat his shoulder. Ten minutes later they pulled into the parking garage ready to start their day. They dropped Ella off at daycare, grabbed some coffee and headed for Robert's office for a few minutes. Elizabeth helped him into his lab coat and pinned the left sleeve to the inside of the pocket. She straightened his tie and kissed his cheek. It was their morning routine and although it was basically nothing special there was something intimate about it, something they both looked forward to each day. They were still more than friends and less than lovers. Although they hadn't yet discussed it with each other they were both beginning to think it was time to take a step forward.  
  
"When is your first surgery?" Robert asked as he downed the rest of his coffee and grabbed a mint out of his desk drawer.  
  
"Not until 11. I'll try to stop by after my meeting with Donald."  
  
"I'll be around. Do you think you'll be free for lunch?" asked Robert as he wrapped his stethoscope around his neck and patted his pocket to search for a pen.  
  
"Probably. It will be a late one though," answered Elizabeth as she opened the door for him. Robert had turned back to his desk and was reading something, clearly not quite ready to head out into the ER. Elizabeth heard the ambulance bay doors slide open. The sounds of a major trauma filled the air. "Robert." The firm sound of her voice as she simply said his name was enough to get him moving. She walked him as far as the ADMIT desk and gave his hand a discreet squeeze before heading for the elevator.  
  
Two traumas and a few other patients later Robert was in the hallway getting a drink out of the fountain. He looked up to find Kerry making a beeline for him. She was too close so escaping her wasn't an option. "So Robert, I heard Elizabeth had a meeting with Donald this morning," started Kerry as she made it clear she was accompanying him wherever he was headed.   
  
"Yes, she did. So I assume you were there with your ear pressed against the door," he sneered as he picked up speed and tried to lose her in the crowded hallway.   
  
"He gave her the job," said Kerry, cutting right to the chase.  
  
"It's no surprise Kerry. We knew he was going to do it," replied Robert trying his best to not let her get to him.  
  
"And you're ok with this?" Robert shrugged his shoulders, not sure where Kerry was headed with the conversation. "Is Elizabeth ready for the job? Can she handle it?" And suddenly he knew where she was headed.  
  
"Dr. Corday is ready for the job," Robert replied curtly, emphasizing Elizabeth's title.  
  
"Now, it's DR. Corday," muttered Kerry, eyebrows raised, her smirk barely concealed.   
  
"Kerry, grow up." Not in the mood to continue the conversation Robert did the only thing that pretty much guaranteed he wouldn't be followed, he ducked into the men's room, leaving Kerry standing in the hallway alone.  
  
A little after 2:00 Robert was sitting with his feet up on his desk, Jimmy Buffet coming through his headphones and a stack of memos in his lap. He was supposed to actually be reading them but every time he tried his eyes started to flutter closed.  
  
Elizabeth quietly opened the door a few minutes later, just as Robert had dozed off. She took the papers out of his hand and he startled awake. She reached to pull the headphones of his ears so she could talk to him. "Hi, sorry I'm late. Had trouble getting the bleeding under control. The meeting with Donald ran later than I thought so I couldn't stop by," explained Elizabeth as she took a seat on the desk next to Robert's legs.   
  
"It's ok. Word has already gotten around. Kerry cornered me in the hallway. Had to duck into the men's room to get away from her," he said with a forced laugh.  
  
"Sorry," said Elizabeth softly as she reached to pat his knee.  
  
"It's not your fault." Elizabeth nodded slightly but she was having a hard time shaking the guilty feelings she had about the whole promotion. 


	2. Ch 2

Elizabeth's guilt about taking the promotion eased over the next few weeks. Robert helped her settle into the position while he continued to ease into some kind of peaceful existence in the ER. But as the summer wore on both Robert and Elizabeth had increasing feelings of restlessness. Their relationship was stalled and both were beginning to seriously think it was time for a change. But both had certain feelings that were holding them back. Robert didn't want to push Elizabeth into something if she wasn't ready and she didn't want him to feel pitied. So they went along until Dorothy had had enough of watching the two of them dance around their feelings.  
  
Early one evening Robert dragged himself and Ella out of the ER into Dorothy's waiting car. It was the end of a long week. Elizabeth had gotten stuck in the OR at the last minute so Dorothy came by to pick them up. Dorothy got out of the car and took Ella from him to put the toddler in her car seat. She slid back into the car and looked over to Robert who was slumped in the passenger's seat. She just regarded him with a cluck of her tongue. "You're looking pretty pathetic Robbie," she said with a twinkle in her eye.   
  
"Always the charmer Dorothy," muttered Robert. "And don't call me that," he added for good measure.  
  
"Whatever," she smirked as she pulled away from the curb and headed for his house. "So have you finally decided to make a move?" she asked with as straight a face as she could manage.  
  
"Make a move? What am I, 16?" snorted Robert. Dorothy just raised her eyebrows and looked at him, clearly waiting for an answer. "I'm waiting for the right moment," he answered lamely.  
  
"The right moment is never going to happen. Have you thought about my offer?" Dorothy's family owned a house on the Jersey Shore and she'd offered it to Robert if he wanted to take Elizabeth and Ella away for a few days.  
  
"I don't know. Are we ready to go away together?"  
  
"Elizabeth sleeps at your house at least twice a week. She has a stash of clothes in your guest room. She's nuts about you," Dorothy pointed out as she hitched her thumb towards Ella. "You're miserable when you don't see them for more than a day. And most importantly, you're a different person lately. You're happier, more relaxed and frankly much more pleasant to be around."  
  
"Really?" asked Robert, his voice suddenly quiet.  
  
"Yeah. So do you need help with Ella tonight?" asked Dorothy, changing the subject.  
  
"Nah, just drop us off, we'll be fine."  
  
Five hours later Elizabeth fumbled with the key and let herself into Robert's house. She had a headache, a growling stomach and aching feet. She tossed her tote bag in the foyer and headed for the kitchen. Robert had left her a plate in the refrigerator. She put the plate in the microwave and reheated it as she poured herself a glass of milk. The meatloaf and potatoes were just what she had been craving. After a few Advil and a glass of water she headed upstairs to check on Ella before crawling into bed with Robert. Her daughter was sleeping peacefully, her chubby little arms wrapped around a small brown teddy bear. Elizabeth brushed back her blond curls and quietly snuck out of the room.  
  
Robert was sound asleep in the chair by the window. It was evident he'd tried to stay up and wait for her. Elizabeth carefully removed the magazine from his grasp and leaned over kiss his forehead. "Robert," she said softly as she shook his shoulder. "Come to bed." He rubbed his eyes like a little kid and blinked a few times before he realized he wasn't dreaming and that Elizabeth was really standing there.  
  
"Lizzie," he muttered still half asleep. He let Elizabeth help him to his feet and guide him towards the bed. He crawled under the sheet and curled up in a ball while Elizabeth went into the bathroom to change.  
  
Neither one of them had to be at the hospital early the next morning. Elizabeth was on call in the afternoon and she planned on using the time to catch up on some paperwork. Ella was up with the sun, as usual. Elizabeth took her downstairs, leaving Robert to sleep in a little more. By the time he woke up it was after 9. He pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and headed downstairs. He found Elizabeth and Ella outside on the deck. Elizabeth was drinking tea and reading the paper while Ella and Gretel ran around the yard.  
  
"Morning sleep-head," teased Elizabeth as he stepped out into the bright sunlight and promptly put his hand over his eyes. He stumbled to the nearest chair and sat down heavily.   
  
"Morning," he mumbled in return as he reached for her tea. He took a sip and made a face.  
  
"I'll get you your own cup, with real sugar," offered Elizabeth with a smile. "Are you hungry, Dorothy picked up bagels?"  
  
"Yeah, sounds good." agreed Robert. Ella had just looked up from where she was playing and caught sight of Robert. She ran across the yard, barely making it up the steps without tripping. "Hi, sweetie," said Robert as he picked up the little girl and gave her a hug. She stood on his knees and reached to kiss the top of his head. Elizabeth had all but given up on breaking her of that habit. It didn't bother Robert at all; in fact he kind of liked it.   
  
Ella and Robert spent the day together while Elizabeth went in to get some paperwork done. Just as she was about to leave she got called into a rather lengthy and complicated surgery. By the time she was done she could barely drag herself back to Robert's place. He was just getting Ella settled down for the night. Elizabeth wearily climbed the stairs and kissed her daughter goodnight.  
  
"Are you hungry?" whispered Robert as they stepped out into the hall. Elizabeth shook her head, a motion that only added to the pounding in her head. "Headache?" Robert asked unnecessarily. Elizabeth nodded as she leaned against the wall. "Why don't you go run yourself a bath, I'll make some tea and bring it up."  
  
"Sounds good," sighed Elizabeth as she pushed herself away from the wall and kissed his cheek.  
  
Fifteen minutes later Robert carefully climbed the stairs with the tea in his hand and Gretel at his heels. "Tea's ready," he said as he entered the bedroom.   
  
Elizabeth took a glance down and saw that everything was covered with bubbles. "Come on in," she said. Robert pushed the door open with his foot and carefully set the tea on the edge of the tub.   
  
"I'll be right back. Have to get my cup."  
  
Elizabeth was almost dozing in the tub by the time he got his tea and peeked in on Ella. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave a weary smile as he entered the room and sat down on the counter. He reached into the medicine cabinet and got Elizabeth some Advil. "Rough surgery?"  
  
"Yes. Had trouble controlling the bleeding and on top of that I had bickering residents in there with me," sighed Elizabeth as she took the pills with a grateful smile. "Did Ella behave herself for you?"  
  
"Of course," replied Robert as he slid off the counter and knelt next to the tub. He gently brushed Elizabeth's curls out of her face. "You look tired."  
  
"I am but I'm also enjoying your tub very much," she said with a grin.  
  
"Take your time," he said as he leaned forward to kiss her softly. The kiss ended up lasting longer than either one had expected. When it ended Robert just pressed his forehead to hers and sighed. He pulled back a minute later, looking into her eyes to see if some kind of apology was needed. He wasn't too sure if he'd crossed some sort of line. But all he saw in her eyes was contentment, clouded by exhaustion. "Elizabeth," he said quietly, not quite sure what else he was going to say. She just pressed her finger against his lips and shook her head slightly. He gave a smile and slowly stood up, leaving her to finish soaking in the tub.   
  
Robert stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt before crawling into bed. He flicked on the television to catch the end of the Cubs game while he waited for Elizabeth to join him. She came out a few minutes later, curling up with her head in Robert's lap. He lowered the volume on the game and turned out the light. With a gentle touch he brushed back her curls and caressed her cheek until she drifted off. By the time the game was over he was also ready to nod off. He nudged Elizabeth enough to get her onto her pillow and he pulled the blanket up over both of them.   
  
The next morning Robert woke to the feeling of a little hand patting his head. He cracked an eye open to see Ella standing there. He reached over and felt for Elizabeth, she was still asleep next to him. "Uh, Lizzie, I think Ella just learned to climb out of the crib," he said as he patted the bed for Ella to climb up with them. She scrambled up on the bed and crawled in between Robert and her mother. She pulled the remote off the headboard and tried to turn on the television. Robert gave her a hand and turned to Sponge Bob Squarepants. Elizabeth just groaned as the all too familiar theme song started. She pulled a pillow over her head as Robert and Ella began to sing along, loudly.  
  
They spent a relaxed Sunday morning together. Ella splashed in the little pool Robert had gotten her a few weeks earlier while he and Elizabeth read the Sunday paper. Robert was quieter than usual, Elizabeth knew there was something on his mind but she also knew from experience not to push him. After lunch she got Ella settled down on the bed in the guest room for a nap. She came back downstairs and found Robert reading his email. "Anything good?" she asked as she stood behind and put her hands on his shoulders.   
  
"Nope," he muttered as he closed AOL and pushed the chair back to stand. He wandered into the kitchen and opened the freezer. He grabbed the chocolate ice cream and sat down on a stool. Elizabeth took a pair of spoons out of the drawer and sat down next to him. She held the carton while they shared the ice cream. Robert didn't say much; he had a far away look on his face. "Robert, are you ok?" asked Elizabeth. "You've been pretty quiet today."  
  
"I'm fine. I've just been thinking."  
  
"Care to share?" she asked as she reached to tip his chin towards her so she could look him in the eye.  
  
"Dorothy's been pushing me to do something and I'm not sure about it," he said, keeping things vague.  
  
"OK, Robert, I'm going to need a little more information than that," she teased.  
  
"Her family has a house on the Jersey shore, right on the beach. She's been bugging me to take a few days and go there. She thinks I need to relax and regroup. I told her I just got back to work."  
  
"It sounds lovely. You did just get back to work and things seem to be going well. Right?" Robert nodded as he turned to face her. "So why don't you wait a few weeks and go at the end of the summer?" she suggested.   
  
"Dorothy thinks I should invite you and Ella to join me," he said quietly. He dropped his head until his eyes were staring at her hands as they rested on his knees.  
  
"And you don't think that's a good idea?" asked Elizabeth as she tipped his chin up again.  
  
"No, I think it's a good idea. I just wasn't sure what you would think. I don't imagine that the beach holds good memories for you."   
  
"No, but that doesn't mean it can't some day. We'd love to go with you. Unless you have some other concerns," she added with a smile.   
  
Robert just grinned as he felt his cheeks turn red. "Uh, just that fact that...I don't want you to feel...uh," Elizabeth cut him off with a quick kiss, ending his rambling.  
  
"Robert, when I'm here with you I feel safe and happy. I can't imagine that would change if we went away together," she started, hesitating a little, trying to phrase things right. She stood up and started to pace the length of the kitchen. "We're taking things slow and that's fine." Robert said nothing so she turned around to face him. "Right?"  
  
Robert nodded, when all he really wanted to say was..."But can't we move things along a little faster."  
  
Elizabeth walked to stand behind him, wrapping her arms around him. "But I wouldn't be against moving things along a little faster," she whispered in his ear. Robert's body shook with a laugh as he pulled her around to stand in front of her.  
  
"Really?" he asked with a goofy grin on his face. She nodded and leaned over to kiss him deeply. The kiss ended when they heard the pitter patter of little feet on the tile floor. Apparently Ella was not in the mood for a nap. "Damn and I was just going to throw you over my shoulder and take you upstairs," he teased before reaching down to set Ella on the island. She immediately reached for the ice cream.  
  
"Oh no sweetie. You can't eat out of the carton," said Elizabeth as she handed the ice cream to Robert. He put it back in the freezer and grabbed a little cup of vanilla for her. Elizabeth got her settled in the high chair with the ice cream as Robert rummaged around for something for dinner. He set out a pan of lasagna on the counter and made sure there were enough vegetables for a salad.   
  
"Are you going to stay tonight?" Robert asked as he sat back down at the island with a bottle of beer. He put the bottle between his knees to steady it while he used the bottle opener to pop the top off.  
  
Elizabeth thought about her answer for a minute. They usually ate Sunday dinner a little on the early side and then she and Ella would head home. But she wasn't sure what to do; if she decided to go home would it look like she was running away after their conversation? And if she stayed would it look like she wanted to move things along at a speed she was sure she was ready for. It only took a minute for Robert to catch on to her hesitation. "Why don't you spend the night at your house, just like you always do on Sunday?"  
  
"Really," she asked with a small smile on her face. Robert nodded and gave her hand a squeeze. He finished his beer while Elizabeth stuck dinner in the oven and wiped the ice cream off of Ella. She was still tired so Robert picked her up and walked her around the house until she started to nod off. As he made a pass by Elizabeth he tried to stifle a yawn.   
  
"Robert, why don't you take her upstairs and lay down with her. You look like you could use a nap too." Robert agreed with smile and headed upstairs. He settled Ella down on the middle of his bed. He sat down on the bed, kicked off his shoes and curled up next to her. He wasn't sure he would fall asleep but 10 minutes later he nodded off. Elizabeth went up to check on them about an hour later. She found them curled up together, still sound asleep. Ella's head was on his chest, her right hand resting protectively on what remained of his left arm. Robert's eyes fluttered open as Elizabeth sat down on the bed. She carefully picked Ella up and set her in her lap, rubbing her back to wake her up.  
  
After a delicious lasagna dinner out on the deck Elizabeth and Ella headed ho7-2me. Robert cleaned up and went back out onto the deck with the rest of his wine and the book on the latest ER trends. He read for a while and then spent some quality time just sitting and watching the stars. He eventually dragged himself inside, gathered up his clothes for the dry cleaners, wrote a note for Dorothy and got ready for bed. 


	3. Ch 3

The strange sense of calm that had hovered over the ER was broken one day a week later. The city was in the middle of a heat wave and the air conditioning in the ER was spotty at best. The waiting area was full, people were cranky and impatient and tempers were beginning to boil over. It was just after 11:00 and Robert was in his office changing. He'd just come out of a trauma and was covered in blood. He groaned as he realized he didn't have a clean shirt in his closet, he would have to put on a set of scrubs. He grumbled as he pulled on the pants and grumbled even louder when he was attempting to pull his tie loose at the same time he was shoving his feet into his sneakers. "About damn time," he mumbled as he finally got the tie loose enough to pull over his head.  
  
"Well, sorry for being late, I was wrist deep in a poor little old man's bowels," Elizabeth deadpanned from the doorway.  
  
"Lizzie, I didn't hear you knock," Robert muttered, his sarcasm out in full force.  
  
"And since when do I knock?" she asked as she was quickly starting to regret her trip to the ER.  
  
"Never," replied Robert as he pulled off his undershirt and tossed it on the chair. Elizabeth just closed the door and leaned against it. She found herself watching Robert as he turned towards the closet to grab a blue scrub top. It wasn't often that she saw him without a shirt on. Since the amputation he had made a point of wearing a t-shirt to bed when they slept together. Even when they'd gone to the lake he had a shirt on the whole time. "Stop staring," Robert muttered as he pulled the shirt over his head. He managed to get the stump caught as he tried to pull it on quickly. The groan he tried to stifle came out, much to his dismay. Elizabeth pushed herself away from the door and crossed the room to give him a hand. He was quick to show his annoyance at her offer of assistance. She pulled away quickly and stepped back to sit on the edge of his desk.   
  
"Robert, what's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Let's see," he started, not bothering to turn around and face Elizabeth. "I just spent an hour in a trauma where the most useful thing I did was to hand Carter the rib spreader. He spent every free second he had in there glaring at me. I swear I think Kerry has him reporting back to her after every one of my shifts. And on top of it, I got sprayed when they cracked the chest, I don't have an extra shirt and apparently I still need help dressing myself," he snorted as he finally turned around. The frustration was evident in his face as he sank into his chair.  
  
"So it's just not a good day, it happens. Would you like to try and meet for lunch?" asked Elizabeth as she slid off the desk and picked up the clothes he'd left strewn about the floor.  
  
"Not hungry."  
  
"Robert," she started and then stopped short, not having any idea what to say to him. It was obvious he was having a bad day and it would probably just get worse judging by the crowds of people in chairs, the faulty air conditioning and his general crappy attitude.  
  
"What?" he asked as he stood up to go back to work. Elizabeth replied with a little shake of her head. She reached to grab his hand as he walked by but he was too quick and she couldn't get a hold of it. He disappeared down the hallway as she just stood there watching him.  
  
As she predicted the day went downhill, quickly. Before she could head upstairs she was called in for a consult. It turned out not to be a surgical case but she got a chance to see Carter and Robert interact in a trauma. Childish would be the best way to describe their behavior. Abby was doing her best to run interference but she was about to give up on both of them. Elizabeth got called away to do another consult. The last straw came when Carter motioned for Robert to do something that clearly required two hands. Abby didn't know if Carter did it on purpose or not but the end result was the same. Robert yelled at Carter, Carter yelled back and Robert looked for a chance to escape the trauma room. He didn't find one until the patient was being wheeled out of the room. Carter was pushing from the head of the bed and somehow managed to clip Robert just enough to send him stumbling into the door frame. His left shoulder and the stump took the brunt of the collision but he held back a yelp of pain while Carter continued on his way down the hall, not bothering to stop. Abby had been starting to clean the room and saw the whole thing. "Dr. Romano are you ok?" she asked as she dropped what she was doing and went over to where he was doubled over, right hand firmly clasped on his left shoulder.  
  
"I'm fine," he replied as stoically as he straightened up. Abby could tell he was far from fine but by the time he'd left the room she was called away to help with the next patient. Robert went out to the ambulance bay to catch his breath but was swept back into the ER by the next group of patients who were being wheeled in before he had a chance to do anything. He followed the gurney into the trauma room and did what he could.   
  
Elizabeth arrived at in the room a few minutes later for a consult. She caught Robert's eye as she pulled on her gloves. She could tell right away that something was wrong, something more than just being frustrated. But with a bleeding patient in between them there was no time for her to pull Robert aside and ask what was wrong. She took the patient up to surgery without talking to him. She got stuck upstairs for the rest of the afternoon.  
  
Things slowed down a little in the ER and Robert managed to escape to his office for a few minutes. He dry gulped 4 Advil and pushed his door closed, it was "naptime". He slumped into his chair and put his feet up. Gently he ran his fingers over the stump and his shoulder. It was starting to throb in time with the beating of his heart and pounding in his head. He considered getting up and looking at it in the mirror but he truly lacked the energy to stand. A minute later he was just about to doze off when someone had the nerve to knock on his door. "Finally decide to start knocking Lizzie?" he spit out, eyes still closed.  
  
"It's Abby, Dr. Romano," came the answer from the other side of the door. Robert really wasn't in the mood for company but he called for her to come in any way. She came bearing a sandwich, a can of soda and an ice pack. "I thought you might be hungry and I figured you could probably use this," she said as she handed him the ice pack. "May I?" she asked as she pointed towards his stump. Robert grudgingly agreed and pulled up the sleeve of his light blue scrub top. Abby flicked on the overhead light and took a look. "A little bruising and a little swelling. How's it feel?"  
  
"Hurts," Robert admitted, knowing that lying to Abby worked about as well as lying to Elizabeth.   
  
"Put the ice on it. Things have slowed down out there. Take it easy for a little while," suggested Abby as she opened the can of soda and the sandwich for him.   
  
Robert grunted a half hearted "Thanks," and pointed towards the door, clearly dismissing her. Abby wisely left without another word.  
  
"What were you in there for?" asked Carter when he saw her close the door behind her.   
  
"I dropped off lunch and an ice pack."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You don't have a clue do you?" asked Abby. Carter shook his head. "You slammed him into the door frame with the gurney earlier. Hit the stump pretty hard."   
  
"Oh well. He shouldn't have been in the way," muttered Carter with a shrug of his shoulders. Abby just stared at him as if he were from another planet. Before she could even think of a response she was called to the desk.  
  
Robert managed to relax for a little while. The ice pack and the Advil helped to dull the throbbing a little. He didn't have a lot of paperwork to do so he went back out to see some patients. He stuck with non-criticals, things he felt comfortable treating. At the end of his shift he called up to the 4th floor to check on Elizabeth. She was in surgery and it looked like she would be there for a while. Ella was home with Kris so he grabbed another ice pack, a cup of coffee and went upstairs to peek in on Elizabeth's surgery.   
  
He settled into a front row seat in the observation suite, propping his feet on the ledge of the window. He took a couple sips of coffee and squeezed the ice pack to activate it. From what he could see Elizabeth looked to be doing an exploratory abdominal surgery. She was bent over the patient clearly trying to find the source of bleeding. Robert watched with pride as she worked. At one point someone must have alerted her to Robert's presence and she took a second to look up at him. Even behind the mask he could tell she was smiling at him. He watched as her eyes clouded over for a second as she noticed he was holding an ice pack to the stump. Her attention was forced back to the surgery a second later.  
  
A little over an hour later Elizabeth was finished her part and the residents began to close. She looked up to find Robert had dozed off in his seat. She chuckled to herself as she pulled off her gloves and tossed her gown in the bin. After giving a few post op orders to Shirley she climbed the stairs to go up and wake Robert.  
  
  
  
He stared to stir when he heard her open the door. It took a few seconds for him to realize where he was. Elizabeth entered the small area and sat down next to his feet. "Hey sleepyhead. Was my surgery that boring?" she asked as she held out her hand for the ice pack.  
  
"Sorry, it's been a long day." muttered Robert as he scrubbed his hand over his face and stood up.  
  
"What happened?" Elizabeth asked, pointing towards his left side.  
  
"Got slammed into a doorframe by a gurney."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"Yeah. Carter was pushing so who knows if it was really an accident."  
  
"So a crappy day all around?" asked Elizabeth as she took his hand and led him in the direction of her office.  
  
"So far. Care to make it all better?" asked Robert with a smirk.  
  
"I'll see what I can do," was the answer he got. 


	4. Ch 4

By the time they got to Elizabeth's house Ella was asleep for the night. She hadn't napped well and was tired. Elizabeth was a little disappointed but her mood lifted as she walked into the guest room to find Robert standing there wearing only a pair of scrub pants. He had just kicked off his shoes and was about to go into the bathroom to get a better look at the bruising on the stump. Elizabeth put the glass of water she had with her on the nightstand and leaned in the doorway of the bathroom. She waited until Robert motioned for her to come in. He slid up onto the counter and lifted his shoulder so she could get a better look. "Nice bruise. It's not too swollen though. How does it feel?"  
  
"It's fine. Just a little sore. Care to kiss it and make it better?" he asked with a wink and just the hint of a leer.  
  
Elizabeth took that as a challenge. She reached out to gently cup the stump in her hand. She lifted it to her lips and planted a soft kiss on it. Robert let out a little hiss at the sensation. Elizabeth pulled back quickly and looked at Robert's face. "I'm sorry, did that hurt?" she asked. Robert leaned forward to kiss her deeply.  
  
"It didn't hurt. It just felt strange," he whispered when the kiss ended. Elizabeth pulled him off the counter and led him out of the bathroom. She hesitated for a minute. She was sure she knew where things were leading and she was ready. Robert moved towards the bed but Elizabeth pulled him in the opposite direction. "Not the bed? Lizzie, please, my days of having sex on the kitchen table are over," teased Robert.  
  
Elizabeth let out a very unladylike snort. "I was thinking more of my room."  
  
"Really," he asked more than a little surprised. When they were at her house they always slept downstairs in the guest room. Sure he'd been in her room a few times but they never slept there. And he understood why. That had been the room Elizabeth and Mark had shared.   
  
"Really."  
  
When they entered the room Robert took notice of a few things. The furniture had been rearranged since the last time he'd been up there, some pictures had been taken down, although a small photo of Elizabeth, Mark and Ella remained on a shelf on the far wall. Obviously Elizabeth had given some serious thought to how he would feel in her room. She turned off the overhead light and flicked on the light on the nightstand. Robert stood just inside the doorway, more or less rooted to the spot. He could never recall feeling so nervous around a woman. His nervousness came from a few different sources, the most obvious the fact that he had been pining for Elizabeth for a very long time, then there was the logistics of doing something he had yet to attempt with only one arm and add to everything else the fact that it had been a rather long time since he'd had sex at all.  
  
Elizabeth was sitting on the edge of the bed looking every bit as nervous as Robert. She motioned for him to come closer. Robert moved to stand in between her knees. He reached out to gently tuck her auburn curls behind her ear while trying to think of something witty to say. He came up empty but the tension in the room was broken when Elizabeth giggled a little and leaned forward to rest her forehead against his bare stomach. Robert chuckled and ran his hand over her head, smoothing down her curls. Elizabeth took a deep breath, pressed a soft kiss just above the knot that held his scrub pants up. She put her hands at his waist and ran her thumbs along his hipbones. Her gentle touch was enough to make Robert's knees grow weak.  
  
He made a move to join Elizabeth on the bed but not before she leaned forward enough to capture the string of his scrub pants between her teeth and pull the knot free. "Very nice move Lizzie," chuckled Robert as he held on to his pants and walked to the other side of the bed. He dropped the pants and pulled back the comforter. Elizabeth pulled back her edge of the comforter and a minute later they were under the sheets, wrapped around each other, kissing passionately.  
  
"Lizzie, you uh, you seem to be a little over-dressed," teased Robert when they broke for air. She was still wearing the clothes she'd thrown on after her surgery. Robert was down to a pair of boxers and much to Elizabeth's amusement, his socks. "No, let me," said Robert as Elizabeth started to unbutton her shirt. She nodded but looked down and frowned at the shirt she'd chosen to wear, a pale blue blouse with six or so buttons down the front. But to her credit, when she dressed that morning she didn't think this was the way she would be ending her day. Robert managed to undo all but the last two buttons quite adeptly, much to both of their surprise. Using his new-found ingenuity he used his teeth to help with the last few. He spread the blouse open and kissed her stomach, much like she had done to him.  
  
Elizabeth stood up long enough to shrug out of her shirt and slip her pants, and socks off. "So, think you can undo a bra one handed?" she asked with a wink as she climbed back on the bed. Always up for a challenge Robert had her pinned back on the bed and the front clasp bra unhooked in seconds flat.   
  
A few minutes later the rest of their clothes had been discarded. Robert was taking a visual tour of Elizabeth's body while she was doing all she could not to scream for him to touch her. She'd had years of Robert's gaze on her body she was ready for his touch. Robert was enjoying himself too much and wasn't getting the hint. So Elizabeth did the first thing she thought of, she grabbed his hand, kissed the palm, and gently guided it towards her breast. "OK, I get the hint," he smirked. "I was just taking my time."  
  
"You can take your time some other time, Robert," she whispered as she leaned over to kiss his neck and ran her hand down his chest, stomach and lower. He gasped at her touch and his eyes slammed shut as he enjoyed the sensation. It had been way too long. He eventually had to move her hand away. Embarrassing himself wasn't something he had planned on doing that evening.  
  
"Sorry, it's uh, been a while," admitted Robert with a grin.  
  
"For me too. Robert, before we go any further, I'm, uh, not exactly prepared for this," muttered Elizabeth.  
  
"What? You've changed your mind?" he asked, completely missing her point.  
  
"Oh God no," she laughed as she traced lazy circles over his chest with her finger. "Not that kind of prepared."  
  
"Oh, yeah, that. In my wallet," he groaned as he reached for his pants.   
  
"So you just carry condoms around with you?" asked Elizabeth.  
  
"Only for the last couple of weeks. I've been feeling lucky," admitted Robert with a grin.  
  
Elizabeth took the condom from him and disappeared under the sheet. It was all Robert could do to control himself. Things were still in danger of ending way too quickly. He tugged on her shoulder and and she slithered her way up his body, not losing contact with him for a second. Elizabeth rolled over onto her back, pulling Robert on top of her. Too caught up in the moment it didn't occur to her that having Robert on top would involve some sort of balancing act on his part. "Uh Lizzie," he started not exactly sure how to phrase things. Elizabeth quickly realized what was wrong and she started to apologize profusely. There was no need as Robert simply flipped them over again so he was on the bottom.  
  
As Elizabeth lowered herself onto him his years of fantasizing gave way to reality. It was an experience that literally left him speechless. He tried to hold still for a few moments as they both got used to the feeling of being connected. Elizabeth braced her hands on either side of his head and started to move her hips, settling the into a rhythm all their own.   
  
Over the years Robert had spent considerable time dreaming about this very moment. It some ways it was everyting he'd dreamed of, the way they fit together perfectly, the way her hair hung down over her shoulders, grazing his chest as she rocked back and forth, the smell of her perfume and the whisper of her voice in his ear. In other ways it wasn't what he'd expected. Obviously when he'd started to dream about Elizabeth he was a guy with two arms. And now he wasn't. He'd also imagined their first time would be more frantic and less loving, probably the culmination of a huge fight where they would be screaming at each other one second and throwing each other on the desk the next. He vastly preferred the way things had worked out.  
  
As their movements became less fluid and more frantic Robert felt more at peace than he had in a very long time. They came one right after the other, collapsing in a heap. After Robert caught his breath he got up for a minute to take care of the condom and get a drink of water. He crawled back into bed and pulled the sheet up over both of them. They were quiet for a few minutes, neither knowing quite what to say.  
  
"I've done it, I'll finally done it," teased Elizabeth as she poked Robert in the ribs. "I've rendered the great Rocket Romano speechless."  
  
"Don't call me that," Robert said with a sharpness to his voice that surprised them both. Elizabeth tried to pull away from him but he held her tight. "Sorry" he whispered as he kissed her forehead. Elizabeth wisely dropped the question of "Why not?" and tucked it away for a later time. Just as the silence was verging on becoming awkward Ella's voice drifted down the hallway.  
  
"I'll be right back," whispered Elizabeth as she ran her hand over his hip before before climbing out of bed. Ella was settled back to sleep with a drink of water and a quick backrub. Elizabeth ran downstairs to make she she'd locked up and to turn off the lights. Robert tried to stay awake until she returned but it had been a long and, up until an hour ago, miserable day. He drifted off a minute or so before Elizabeth returned. She stood in the doorway for a minute watching him sleep. The room was dark except for the thin moonlight streaming in the window. Robert was on his side facing away from her, the pale yellow sheet barely pulled up to his hips. Elizabeth shrugged out of her robe and sat down on the bed next to him. She put her left hand on the bed on the other side of his body to brace herself as she leaned over to plant a kiss on his shoulder. She moved her lips downward a little to press a kiss to what was left of his arm and then to the scar over his ribcage. Robert moved a little in his sleep but didn't wake up. Elizabeth stretched out next to him and curled against his back. She wrapped her arm protectively around his waist, her handing resting on his hip. 


	5. Ch 5

For the first time in about a week Robert's sleep wasn't interrupted by a nightmare, pain, his pager, Gretel or Ella. It was heavenly. Even better was the feeling of waking up in Elizabeth's embrace, their warm, naked bodies pressed together under rumpled cotton sheets.  
  
Just as he was enjoying the feeling of Elizabeth's arm around him the silence of the morning was broken by the sound of the alarm. With a groan Elizabeth rolled away from him and slapped it off, sending the room back into silence. The silence lasted all of ten seconds before Ella started yelling to be let out of the crib. For some reason she had mastered climbing out of the crib at Robert's house but not her own crib at home. That gave Robert a minute to pull on his boxers and t-shirt before she came barreling in to greet him.   
  
"Wob, Wob," she called as she launched herself at him. She didn't seem to be the least bit affected by the fact that Robert was in her mother's bed. She just climbed into his lap and gave him a big hug and kiss.  
  
Elizabeth had the day off but she threw on some shorts and a t-shirt to take Robert to the hospital. She watched with a huge grin on her face as Robert all but swaggered into the ER. She and Ella headed out for a day of mother-daughter bonding.   
  
As far as work was concerned Robert had a rough morning. But he got through it with plenty of coffee, Advil and the memories of the night before. As he settled down for "naptime" he called his house trying to track down Dorothy. She answered on the first ring. "Romano residence."  
  
"Nothing to do besides stand by the phone?" Robert teased as he leaned back to put his feet on the desk.  
  
"Hello Robbie. Actually I was pretty bored. You see, there were no clothes strewn around, no unmade bed. It's almost as if you didn't spend the night here last night."  
  
"Cute. And don't call me that. Does your offer still stand?"  
  
"And what offer was that?" asked Dorothy, enjoying the opportunity to tease him.   
  
"The beach house. Look I'm on a break here. I don't have time to fool around," he said, teasing her right back.  
  
"Oh yes, it's naptime," she laughed as she glanced at her watch.  
  
"That's it. You and Lizzie can't spend any more time together," teased Robert. "Well?"  
  
"When do you want to leave?"  
  
"End of next week?"  
  
"Done. Let me know when you want to leave and I'll book you a flight."  
  
"Thanks. You're the best," said Robert sincerely.  
  
"You're welcome. Get some rest Robbie. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye," replied Robert. Before he could say "don't call me that" Dorothy hung up.  
  
The next 5 days proved to be more frustrating than Robert could ever imagine. It seemed like there were never any "easy" cases. Too many multi-car pile ups on the freeway and too many gang shootings brought hundreds of patients into the ER. Abby had done her best to keep Robert and Carter away from each other but it was inevitable that they crossed paths a few times a day. Carter just seemed annoyed each time Robert came in the room and Robert was constantly on the defensive. They were like two boys in the school yard egging each other on, wanting the rest of the staff to "choose sides". It wasn't the healthiest of atmospheres in which to work and soon Kerry had gotten wind of the situation. She was quick to side with Carter before bothering to talk to Robert.  
  
Elizabeth, for the most part, tried to stay out of it. It wasn't her fight. The "boys" needed to learn to get along with each other on their own. Robert tried his best to understand her position. The two of them were careful to keep "work" out of their personal lives and for the most part to keep their personal lives out of work. That's not to say they were completely discreet at the hospital but they tried their best to keep their hands off each other in public. In their offices..that was another story. The only person to "officially" know they were a couple was Abby and she wasn't talking. They suspected others had their suspicions but didn't particularly care. Their private life was just that..private.  
  
As the week wore on Robert became more and more withdrawn, much to Elizabeth's dismay. When she tried to talk to him he shut down. She knew him well enough to know not to take his actions personally. They weren't directed at her; he was just having a rough time and wasn't handling things very well. On the few occasions she did get him to talk a bit she had tried to steer the conversation towards the possibility of therapy but as expected those conversations were quickly ended by Robert. Although he'd promised her a few weeks earlier that he would think about getting therapy he'd hadn't taken a step in that direction.  
  
The night before their flight Robert stood in his bedroom packing. Ella and Gretel were running circles around the room while Elizabeth was downstairs making dinner. They were leaving in the morning for the Jersey Shore. At first Dorothy had offered to stay at the house to take care of Gretel but Robert was taking the dog to the kennel in the morning. He'd managed to convince Dorothy to come with them. She was going to spend a few days with her family before joining Robert, Elizabeth and Ella at the beach.  
  
"Robert, dinner's ready," Elizabeth called up the stairs. Robert paused a minute to let Gretel go before he picked up Ella and took her down.   
  
After dinner Robert cleaned up while Elizabeth ran home to get her luggage. She left Ella with Robert so she could get back quicker. When she returned she found Robert up in his bathroom packing a last few little items. Ella was playing in his vast walk-in closet. Elizabeth walked into the closet to find her daughter. She found her sitting in the corner playing with the penlight Robert had given her. As Ella stood up to greet her mother she knocked over a plastic bag, dumping the contents on the floor. Elizabeth turned on the overhead light to see what she was doing. She picked up the items on the floor and took a look before stuffing the clothes back into the plastic bag. In her hand were Robert's navy blue scrubs, the ones with "Rocket" Romano stitched on the chest. For the last few weeks she'd been wondering where they were. On the days Robert wore scrubs at work he wore the standard issue light blue ones, just like everyone in the ER wore. "Lizzie, did you two get lost in there?" he asked, poking his head in the doorway. Elizabeth managed to drop the scrub top behind her. She knew that any conversation revolving around his reluctance to wear the scrubs was not one to have while packing for a trip and entertaining a two year old. Ella ran out of the closet and climbed into the chair by the window with book.  
  
"Robert, why don't you get her settled down while I go let Gretel out?" suggested Elizabeth as she shoved the clothes back into the bag and walked out of the closet. "Do you want me to bring you something to drink when I come back up?"  
  
"Sure, iced tea," Robert called over his shoulder as he turned his attention to the little girl in his lap.  
  
By the time Ella was settled down for the night Robert was half asleep himself. So rather than ask him about the scrubs Elizabeth tucked him and went down to let Gretel back in before going to bed herself.   
  
At nine the next morning Elizabeth stood on Robert's from steps watching in shock as a black limo pulled up and a uniformed driver emerged from behind the wheel. She knew Robert had called for a car to take them to the airport but she wasn't expecting a limo. He took great delight in the look on her face when he walked outside with the last of the suitcases. She kissed him soundly before heading inside to get Ella.  
  
Robert was quiet during the ride to the airport. Dorothy had pulled Elizabeth aside earlier that morning and had clued her in on the fact that Robert was less than fond of flying. That information was nice to have when Robert basically held her hand for dear life as the plane took off. As the plane leveled off he loosened his grip basically curled up in a ball as best he could in the seat and closed his eyes. The hum the engines put him to sleep quickly. Elizabeth had a chance to read while Dorothy entertained Ella in the row next to Robert and Elizabeth. 


	6. Ch 6

Dorothy's daughter Kate met them at the airport. After the introductions she handed Robert the keys to the house in Ocean City and a page of directions. Dorothy reached down to pick Ella up to give her a hug and kiss goodbye. Dorothy gave Elizabeth a quick hug and turned to face Robert; she hesitated just a second and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blushed slightly and dropped his head in a very "Un-Romano" like gesture. They waved goodbye to Dorothy and headed for the rental car counter.  
  
Robert took Ella to get a snack while Elizabeth waited in the line. Forty minutes later they all piled into the rented minivan and headed towards New Jersey. The traffic was light and Ella was entertained by her toys so the drive was pleasant. Kate had arranged for the house to be stocked so they didn't need to stop along the way. As they went over the bridge into Ocean City Robert pushed the button to put down his window. The salty, marshy smell of the beach brought back memories of childhood vacations. He flashed a big smile at Elizabeth, the first one she'd seen in almost a week.   
  
Ten minutes later the pulled into the driveway of the beach house. It sat right on the beach overlooking the water. Dorothy's daughter was a well respected attorney and her husband was a college professor, by the looks of the house it was obvious they did very well for themselves. The house was divided into upstairs and downstairs units. The downstairs was rented to another family and the upstairs was waiting for their arrival. Ella led the way up the stairs dragging her teddy bear behind her. Elizabeth opened the door and walked into the house. It was beautiful. It was an open floor plan, everything was light and airy. It was decorated in typical beach style, lots of blues and greens. It couldn't have been a more welcome sight. Elizabeth dropped the bags on the floor and went to investigate the rest of the house. There was a large master suite with a large bathroom, two smaller bedrooms, another bathroom, a large eat in kitchen, living room and a huge deck with a great view of the ocean. Robert carried up the bags and deposited them in the bedrooms. He put Ella's things in the bedroom next to the master bedroom and went to unpack his clothes. Elizabeth got her own things put away while Ella ran around checking things out.   
  
When everything was put away Robert took Ella out to the deck and showed her the view. Elizabeth checked out the contents of the kitchen and was touched to see all of their favorite foods. Dorothy must have given Kate a list of what they liked. She quickly made some sandwiches for a late lunch, put everything on a tray and went out to the deck. After lunch Robert got Ella settled down for a nap while Elizabeth changed into her bathing suit, grabbed a paperback from the shelf, a chair from the storage shed and headed for the beach.   
  
While Ella slept Robert went back out to the deck and read for a while. The newspaper didn't hold his attention and he tossed it aside after 10 minutes. From where he was sitting he had a perfect view of the ocean and of Elizabeth who was sitting and soaking up the sun. As usually happened when he allowed his mind to wander seeds of doubt popped into his thoughts. Doubts that he was doing any good at work, doubts that he even deserved the good things he did have in his life. For the last week he'd been contemplating a change, one that could completely alter this life. He'd told no one about it, not even Elizabeth. He was sure she knew he had something big on his mind but she hadn't really pushed him to share his idea with him. So he pushed his ideas aside and padded into the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. He pulled out hamburgers and set them on the counter to thaw. By the time he managed to make a salad Ella wandered out of bed and into the kitchen. She climbed onto a chair at the table and Robert got her a juice box and a few cookies. Elizabeth came back to check on them a few minutes later and found them pulling apart Oreos and licking off the cream. "Teaching my daughter nice habits I see," she teased as she watched Ella dunk a cookie into Robert's glass of milk.  
  
"Well, it's seems a little early to teach her about medicine so I figured Oreo dunking was the next best thing," said Robert with a grin. Elizabeth reached out to wipe a bit of chocolate off the corner of his mouth. "So how was the beach?" Robert asked as Elizabeth grabbed a couple of cookies for herself.  
  
"Delightful. Are the two of you ready to come down?"  
  
"Beach, beach," yelled Ella as she slid off the chair and ran towards her room. Elizabeth caught her before she put chocolately handprints all over the pale blue walls. She got her daughter cleaned up, into her bathing suit and was in the process of putting on some sunscreen when Robert emerged from the bedroom in his swim trunks and a t-shirt. He managed to put some sunscreen on his face and legs. Elizabeth offered to do his back but he declined, knowing he wouldn't be taking off his shirt. She didn't make a big deal out of it and took him up on his offer to reapply some to her back.  
  
The three spent the afternoon on the beach, having a great time. Robert and Ella splashed in the waves and dug in the sand. Elizabeth just watched them with a smile on her face. It had been a mere 24 hours earlier that Robert had dragged himself in the door looking as if the world was against him.   
  
What a difference a day made.  
  
By the time Elizabeth gave Ella a bath and put her in her pajamas the little girl was fading fast. The was no way she was going to be able to wait for the hamburgers to cook so Elizabeth made her a sandwich and cut up an apple for her dinner.  
  
While Elizabeth got Ella settled for the night Robert went out and grilled the burgers on the deck. Elizabeth brought out a couple beers with her when she came out. Dinner was relaxing and quiet, a little too quiet for Elizabeth's taste. "Robert are you ok? You're very quiet tonight," commented Elizabeth as she got up to clear the table when they were finished eating.  
  
"I'm fine. Just have some things running around in my mind, I guess," muttered Robert with a shrug of his shoulders. He got up to help clear the table but Elizabeth waved him off and he took a seat in the lounge chair.  
  
"Anything you want to share?" Robert shook his head and drained the last of his beer. "OK, well, I'm here if you want to talk," said Elizabeth trying not to take his silence personally. She went back into the house for a few minutes to check on Ella and grab another couple of beers. "So did Dorothy decide when she was coming down?" asked Elizabeth as she pushed Robert over a little so she could perch on the edge of the lounger.  
  
"Sunday night. Two more days of just the three of us. I could get quite used to this, just you, me and Ella," said Robert as he put down his beer and turned on his side to give Elizabeth a little more room on the chair.   
  
"I think it might get a little boring, just the three of us all the time. No hospital, no surgery, no ER," teased Elizabeth. Her comment didn't bring the reaction she'd been expecting.   
  
"I could live with that," Robert muttered under his breath.  
  
She stretched out next to him and snaked her right hand under his t-shirt, fingering the scar on his side for a second before speaking again. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about something?" she asked again.  
  
"Not yet."  
  
Elizabeth nodded and leaned in for a kiss. They watched the stars come out until Robert starting yawning a little after 10.  
  
Robert slept better that night than he had in months. He woke up early, refreshed and energetic. Elizabeth was still sound asleep as was Ella. He quickly wrote them a note and headed out for a walk on the beach. The morning was cool with a nice breeze coming off the water. Robert slipped off his shoes and walked along the water's edge. His mind wandered to the plans he'd been formulating for a few days, plans he'd taken great pains to keep to himself. The thought of sharing them with Elizabeth was terrifying. Not that he thought she'd be against them; she would just be shocked by them. Vowing to himself that he would share them with her before they went back to Chicago he turned back towards the house.  
  
When he got back Elizabeth was just starting to make French toast. After breakfast the trio set out for the beach. Robert and Ella played in the sand and collected shells for a long time until she spotted a flock of gulls a few hundred feet away. She chased them until they took off out over the water. Ella and Robert walked a little while longer until Ella realized she'd left her mother behind. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled as she looked around.  
  
"Mommy's sitting under the umbrella," said Robert pointing in the general direction of their blanket. He took Ella by the hand and they started back.   
  
"Shoulders," Ella said as she stopped short and held up her arms to be picked up.  
  
"Sorry honey, I can't put you up on my shoulders, but I can carry you," offered Robert. Ella agreed and he picked her up. She wrapped her wet, sandy legs around his waist and rested her blond head on his shoulder. By the time they arrived back at the blanket Robert's shirt was pretty much covered in wet sand. He headed back to the house to get a clean one and to make some quick sandwiches for lunch.  
  
After lunch Ella napped under the umbrella while Elizabeth and Robert talked about nothing in particular. Elizabeth tried a few times to steer to conversation towards what was going on in Robert's mind. But since she had no idea what that was it was hard to know which way to steer the conversation. Eventually she turned her attention back to her magazine and Robert put down the back of his chair and fell asleep himself. When he woke about an hour later he found Elizabeth and Ella were splashing in the shallow water. He pushed himself up out of the chair and joined them. By the time they were done all three were very wet but happy.   
  
After they made their way back to the house Robert hunted through the take out menus for somewhere to order dinner. They decided on an early dinner of seafood and afterwards headed for the boardwalk. It was Ella's first trip to the boardwalk and excited didn't come close to describing her mood. She didn't know what to look at first. They'd decided against using the stroller so Ella pulled Robert in 3 different directions at once the instant they set food on the boardwalk.  
  
"Horsies, horsies," cried Ella as they entered the amusement area. Robert bought some tickets and Elizabeth and Ella took a ride on the Merry-Go-Round. Robert waited by the fence, waving at Ella each time she came around. A few more rides, some window shopping and an ice cream cone later, Ella was ready to head back to the house. Robert scooped her up in his arm to carry her when she patted his shoulder. He motioned for Elizabeth to set Ella on his shoulders.  
  
"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked Robert as she took her daughter from his arms. Robert nodded. "Ella, you have to sit still," warned Elizabeth. Robert crossed his right arm over Ella's legs and held on to her left foot. She sat perfectly still and by the time they were back at the car she was almost asleep, her chin resting on the top of Robert's head.  
  
Sunday morning dawned a little chilly with a light drizzle falling from the sky. Robert went out for donuts and the Sunday paper. While Elizabeth and Robert read the paper and worked on the crossword puzzle Ella played with the shells she'd collected the day before. When the sky cleared after lunch they walked up to the park for a while. Ella had the time of her life. Robert doted on her, pushing her in the swing, helping her walk across the balance beam and chasing her through the large wooden castle.   
  
When they got back there was a message from Dorothy on Robert's cell phone. She would be by 6:00 and was bringing dinner for them. "I'm going to call and check in with the hospital," said Elizabeth. "Can you get Ella down for a nap?"  
  
"Sure, no problem," replied Robert as he plugged his phone back into the charger and picked up Ella.  
  
"Do you want to talk to anyone before I hang up?" Robert gave a very characteristic snort and bit back a few words he didn't want to use in front of Ella.  
  
"I'll take that as a no," muttered Elizabeth as she took the phone out onto the deck. Robert settled down in the rocker in the corner of the living room. He sang quietly to Ella. She drifted off quickly and he set her in her bed. Elizabeth found him asleep on the couch half an hour later. He had a file folder filled with prosthetic information pamphlets across his chest and spilling onto the floor. She put the papers back in the folder and set it aside. She flipped through the channels once and then clicked the television back off. She grabbed the folder and took it into the kitchen. While she waited for the tea water to boil she took the pamphlets out and spread them on the counter. Robert had never shared his ideas or feelings about getting a prosthetic device with her and she hadn't pushed. Maybe he was getting closer to making a decision.   
  
Maybe that's what had been on his mind.   
  
Elizabeth reached for the kettle just as it started to whistle so it wouldn't disturb Robert's nap. She found the information rather interesting and didn't notice Robert had woken up a little while later. "Reading something interesting Lizzie?" he asked as he realized what was spread out in front of her. He headed for the fridge for something to drink. He opened the door with a little more force than needed and sent a few things flying off the door and onto the floor. Elizabeth started to get up to help him but reconsidered and let him clean up the mess himself. While he did that she wisely put the papers back in the folder and put it on his backpack. "Robert," Elizabeth started, unsure of what to say to him.  
  
"Don't Lizzie," warned Robert as he paced the room. Elizabeth just stood and watched him, trying to figure out what exactly had just happened. She obviously had struck some sort of nerve with Robert. But she also knew the more she pushed him to take the more he would shut her out completely. So she gave him the space he obviously wanted. She went for a walk on the beach, leaving Robert with his thoughts.  
  
A little before 6 Dorothy's daughter and granddaughter dropped her off. They declined Robert's offer to stay for dinner and left before Elizabeth returned from her walk. Dorothy put her things in the third bedroom while Robert put dinner in the oven. Ella wandered out and launched herself at Dorothy. They sat and read a book while Robert set the table and opened a beer. He offered Dorothy one which she took with a smile. Ella slipped off Dorothy's lap and went to play with her toys. Dorothy watched as Robert paced around. "Robbie, what's wrong?" she asked.  
  
"Don't call...never mind," he sighed as he collapsed on the couch.   
  
"Is Elizabeth really out taking a walk?" she asked pointedly.  
  
"Yes. She went out after..." Robert stopped and took a long drink of his beer.  
  
"After what?"  
  
"Nothing, it's stupid," mumbled Robert. Dorothy motioned for him to continue. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I fell asleep here on the couch reading about some of my options," he said as he motioned towards his stump. "She picked up the papers and started to read them. I got annoyed at her. I don't know why. Guess she figured I wanted to be alone, so she went for a walk."  
  
"Robbie, don't shut her out. What's really going on?" asked Dorothy, pressing him just a bit.  
  
Weighing his options in his head Robert decided to come clean, fill Dorothy in on his plan. He talked without stopping for a good 20 minutes. Dorothy just listened, as usual she didn't judge. When Robert finally stopped talking she got up from where she was sitting in the chair and sat down next to him. "Tell her what you just told me," she said as she reached out to give his hand a squeeze. She glanced at her watch and got up to check on dinner. Robert went into the bathroom to pull himself together before Elizabeth got back. As he opened the bathroom door he heard her voice floating through the house as she greeted Dorothy and Ella.  
  
Dinner was a bit awkward but Ella keep things lively as she told Dorothy about the horses on the boardwalk and the seagulls on the beach. Dorothy and Ella made some slice and bake cookies while Robert and Elizabeth cleaned up from dinner. After a few cookies and some milk Ella was fading fast so Elizabeth took her in to give her a quick bath and get her ready for bed. The tension in the house was getting to Robert so he took off for the beach. 


	7. Ch 7

Elizabeth came out of Ella's room a few minutes later, quietly closing the door behind her. She walked over to sit on the couch. Dorothy was watching television and knitting. "Robbie went down to the beach," she said, answering Elizabeth's unspoken question. Elizabeth smiled at the use of the nickname. It wasn't something she would get used to hearing. "Let him be for a little while," suggested Dorothy. "How about some tea?"  
  
"Sure. I'll make it," replied Elizabeth as she headed for the kitchen in a daze. She was still trying to figure out exactly what had caused Robert to shut down so completely.  
  
"He's a very complicated man," said Dorothy as she gratefully took the mug Elizabeth offered her a few minutes later.  
  
"I know but I thought I was starting to understand him," sighed Elizabeth as she sank into the over-stuffed chair, tucking her feet under her.  
  
"You are dear, you are," said Dorothy as she tried to reassure her with a warm smile. "He has a lot on his mind. He just needs a little space."  
  
"Something's been going on with him for about a week now. Any idea what it is?" Dorothy nodded that she did but didn't offer any information and Elizabeth didn't push.   
  
They finished their tea and Dorothy got up to rinse the mugs while Elizabeth wandered out onto the deck to see if she could see Robert on the beach. She could make him out in the moonlight. He was sitting on the sand about 10 yards from the edge of the water. He had his Cubs hat on, his head bowed and his knees pulled up to his chest. He was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt he'd put on after coming back from the beach. Elizabeth found a travel mug in the cabinet and filled it with the rest of the tea. She put on her sweatshirt and grabbed Robert's out of the closet.   
  
"I'll keep an eye on Ella. Be gentle with him. He's not as strong as he'd like people to think."  
  
"If there's one thing I've learned over the past 6 months it's that very fact," said Elizabeth as she grabbed a towel off the dryer and headed for the door. She stood at the top of the dune for a minute watching Robert, he hadn't moved from his spot down by the water. She didn't want to yell to him, it was nearly 10 at night but she didn't want to startle him either. She settled on whistling a little as she walked towards him. He raised his hand up, acknowledging her presence but he didn't turn around. Robert had actually had the forethought to bring a towel with him to sit on. Elizabeth wordlessly handed him the tea and put his sweatshirt over his shoulders. She spread her towel down next to his and sat down. Robert took a big sip of the tea before she could warn him how hot it was. He let loose a string of words he didn't normally use.  
  
"The tea's a little hot," said Elizabeth sheepishly.  
  
"Thanks for the warning there, Lizzie," muttered Robert under his breath.  
  
They sat there watching the waves quietly for a few minutes. Neither knew quite what to say. Elizabeth hesitated a bit before reaching out to put her hand on Robert's shoulder. She felt him shiver a little and took the tea from him so he could pull his sweatshirt on completely. "Are you ready to talk?" she asked as she handed the tea back to him. Robert nodded and took a few deep breaths to give him time to get his thoughts together.  
  
"I'm sorry about before, about the folder. I shouldn't have gotten annoyed at you for reading the stuff. You've been really good about not pushing me, about not asking too many questions," he admitted grudgingly.  
  
"Yes, I have. And now I'm going to start pushing."  
  
"I figured you could only last for so long Lizzie," teased Robert.  
  
"So do you think you can clue me in on what's been going on? You're frankly beginning to scare me a little."  
  
"Really?" asked Robert as he pushed back his hat a little to look her in the eye. The look on Elizabeth's face told just how worried she was about him. That realization hit Robert rather hard. He leaned over with his head propped up on his hand, unable to look her in the eye. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to hurt Elizabeth.   
  
"Robert, talk to me, please," pleaded Elizabeth as she leaned over for a few seconds, resting her forehead against his shoulder.   
  
"OK, I've come to a few decisions over the past week or so. And I'm worried about what you're going to think."  
  
"But it doesn't matter what I think, you've made that very clear," teased Elizabeth as she put her arm around his shoulders and leaned over to kiss his cheek.  
  
"It does matter," Robert whispered seriously. Elizabeth smiled and nodded for him to continue. "I think it's time for me to leave County," he said. Out of all the scenarios that had run through Elizabeth's mind over the past hour that was not one of them.  
  
"What?" she asked as she dropped her hand from where it had been resting on his shoulder.  
  
"I can't do it anymore. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing in the ER."  
  
"Robert, that's not true." He just gave her the "whatever" look and rolled his eyes. "What about another position in the hospital?" she asked knowing she was beginning to grasp at straws.  
  
"Well, to quote Kerry 'I've burned more bridges than I've crossed.' No, it's time for me to move on."  
  
"So if you leave the hospital what are you going to do?"  
  
"I have enough money put away so I thought I'd hang out at home, watch soap operas and shop online," he said. It took Elizabeth a few seconds to decide if he was teasing or not. His smirk gave him away. "I think I'm going to teach. I've talked to a few people at Northwestern and Loyola. It's a little late to start in the fall but I can wait until the Spring semester. I have some other things to focus on in the meantime," he said as he lifted his stump a little.  
  
"Have you made a decision about a prosthetic device?"  
  
"For now," he said cryptically as he stood up and started to pace at the water's edge.   
  
"Robert?"  
  
"I've decided against one for now," he said as he stopped his pacing and looked out over the water. Elizabeth said nothing. Deep down she wasn't all that surprised. "I think I made the final decision this afternoon when I was reading about all the high tech options," he explained as he leaned over a little stretching out to back and shoulders.  
  
"Come here," said Elizabeth as she held out her hand to him. He sat down in front of her and she massaged his shoulders and neck. She was looking for an explanation but wasn't going to ask for one. Robert scooted forward a little and settled down on his back with his head in her lap. She pulled his Cubs hat off and set it backwards on her own head.  
  
"I'm afraid. Afraid that if I get something I'll just be disappointed. Does that make sense?"  
  
"It makes a lot of sense Robert," she assured him as she ran her hand over his cheek. "No matter how high-tech it is you'll never operate again. And I think it's easier for you to accept that fact now, living with just one arm. You've made unbelievable progress in two months; you should be proud. I know I am."  
  
"Thanks," whispered Robert with a weak smile. "So I'm going to go back to OT 3 or 4 days a week instead of the two I've been going recently. And I think it's time I made an appointment with a shrink. I know I've been saying that for a long time now but I'm serious about it."  
  
"Good. You really need to talk to someone. You know I'll always listen but you need more than I can give." Robert nodded. "So when are you going to give notice?"  
  
"Haven't really decided yet. I suppose I should do it as soon as we get back, give Donald a chance to find someone to stick in the hell hole that is the ER."  
  
"Will you stay until he finds someone or will you just give 2 weeks notice?" asked Elizabeth as she ran her hand over his forehead.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'll stay. I suppose I don't need to burn any more bridges," Robert said with a shrug of his shoulders. Elizabeth wisely kept her feelings of agreement to herself. They were silent for a few minutes. Elizabeth leaned back on her hands and tipped her head to admire the stars. Robert ran his hand over his eyes and closed them for a few minutes in an attempt to ward off the headache that he felt coming on. He fidgeted for a few more minutes until Elizabeth sat back up to look at him.   
  
"Are you ok?" she asked as she brushed the sand from her hands and caressed his cheek.   
  
"Tired, headache and chilly," he muttered as he shivered a little before sitting up.  
  
"Let's head back to the house. You can take a hot shower and I'll make some more tea," Elizabeth suggested as she stood up herself and reached to pull Robert to his feet. She held him for a few minutes before letting him go. She gathered up the towels and took Robert's hand to head back up the beach. 


	8. Ch 8

When they got back to the house both Ella and Dorothy were fast asleep. Elizabeth went to the kitchen to put the tea water on while Robert took a quick shower to warm up a bit. By the time he got out Elizabeth was already curled up on the couch with her tea. He found a Sleepytime tea bag for himself and joined her on the couch, curling up in the corner. He was quiet for a few minutes as he absently stirred his tea. Elizabeth was quiet too, still trying to wrap her mind around the thought of Robert leaving County.  
  
"Do you think I'm giving up?" Robert asked quietly after taking a few sips of tea. "And yes, it does matter what you think," he added with a small smile.  
  
"I don't think you're giving up. But some of your decisions did take me by surprise. I do admit that. It wasn't what I was expecting."  
  
"What were you expecting Lizzie?" he asked, honestly interested in her answer.  
  
"I don't know what I was expecting. Your decision about the prosthetic wasn't all that surprising. The decision to leave was a shock. I thought you were trying to make things work in the ER?" She turned her attention towards her tea, unable to look him in the eye. The last thing she wanted to do was to upset him again.  
  
"I was...I am but it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. I'm just in the way. Kerry's out for blood, Carter can't wait for me to fumble around, most eveyone else just scatters when they see me coming down the hall. the only peole remotely nice to me at athe hospital are you and Abby. And Abby gets points off for dating Carter," teased Robert as he put his mug on the coffee and crawled down the length of the couch to rest his head in Elizabeth's lap.  
  
"Well, I give Abby credit for being able to be nice to you while she dates Carter. It can't exactly be easy," Elizabeth pointed out.  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm just worried that you'll...don't take this the wrong way," Elizabeth fumbled as she tried to put her fears as delicately as possible. "I'm worred that you won't leave in...uh, the best way," she cringed at how awkward that sounded.  
  
"You're worried I'll burn yet another bridge," guessed Robert. Elizabeth nodded and ran her hand over his head.   
  
"I'm going to try not to do that," Robert said sincerely as he rubbed his eyes tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose.   
  
"Did you take something for your head?" Elizabeth asked. Robert nodded and sighed. "Let's to bed, you look exhausted." Robert hauled himself off the couch and padded into the bedroom. Elizabeth turned off the lights, checked on Ella and joined him a few minutes later.  
  
Though he was exhausted Robert was slow to settle down and an hour later he was still tossing and turning. Elizabeth was sleeping; he crept out of bed so his restlessness wouldn't disturb her. He wandered around the living room for a few minutes until he heard Ella mumbling. Flicking on the hall light he stuck his head in to check on her. She turned out to be just talking in her sleep but Robert went in and sat down on the edge of her bed to watch her. She was curled up on her side, her arms wrapped around a teddy bear. Her blond curls fell over the pillow, shining in the moonlight. Robert was struck with a feeling he seldom felt. One that, as cliched as it sounded, took his breath away. Gently reaching out he brushed back the soft blond strands and leaned over to press a kiss to Ella's forehead. THe little girl rolled over and cracked her eyes open just a bit. "Wob," she whispered as she climbed into his lap.  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you sweetie," he said as he tucked her head under his chin and rubbed her back.   
  
"Dark," said Ella as she pointed towards the windows.  
  
"Yes, it's still dark. It's the middle of the night honey. Time to go back to sleep." Robert tried to put her back down on the bed but her little arms wound around his neck and she refused to budge. "OK," he muttered as he picked her and her teddy bear up. They went out into the living room and he settled the two of them down on the couch under the afghan. Ella feel back to sleep quickly but they were stretched out in such a way that it wasn't easy for him to get up without waking her. So instead of trying he just closed his own eyes and drifted off to sleep.  
  
The next morning Elizabeth found them still on the couch a little after 6:30. Ella was still sound asleep, sprawled out on Robert's chest she had her teddy bear in her left hand, her right hand resting on Robert's stump. Robert was brushing Ella's curls away from his face and running his hand over the 4 days worth of stubble on his chin. Elizabeth smiled, picked up Ella and set her on the love seat before she curled up with Robert for a few minutes. "How did you two end up out here?" she asked as she snuggled into his side.  
  
"I couldn't fall asleep so I got up. She was talking in her sleep so I went in to check on her. I woke her up when I leaned over to kiss her. She wouldn't settle back down on her bed so we came out her. We were out in a few minutes," explained Robert. Ella woke up a few minutes later and Elizabeth started the coffee pot while Robert got Ella dressed. He put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to go out for a walk before breakfast. He was feeling pretty energetic and well rested considering he spent the night on the couch. "Lizzie can you do me a favor?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Sure, what do you need?" she asked as she put a cup of juice on the table for Ella.  
  
"Can you tie these?" Robert asked as he motioned towards his sneakers. He usually just tucked the laces in when he wore them.  
  
"Sure. Are you going running?" she asked. Robert nodded. He hadn't been running since before the amputation. Before the surgery he ran sporatically, before the accident he'd run pretty regularly. Elizabeth knelt down and tied his sneakers. "Are you running on the beach or the street?"  
  
"I haven't run since the surgery so I think I'll stick to the street. I think it'll be easier to get my bearings, more even ground," he explained as he picked his Cubs hat off the chair and put it on. "I'll be back in a while," he called as he headed for the door. Elizabeth watched him leave with a smile on her face.  
  
Robert ran a few miles. He certainly didn't break any speed records but after the first mile or so he started to get into a rhythm. Having only one arm made a bigger difference that he had thought it would but he quickly learned to just let his shoulder swing naturally as if there were still an arm attached.   
  
By the time he got back to the house Elizabeth, Ella and Dorothy were finishing up breakfast. Robert took a quick shower while Elizabeth got Ella ready for the beach. Elizabeth tried to stall Ella while Robert was eating his breakfast so they could all go to the beach together but Ella wanted no part of waiting so Elizabeth to her down to play in the sand.   
  
"So things are ok now?" asked Dorothy as she poured herself another cup of tea.  
  
"Things are good. I told Lizzie everything and things are fine. She was obviously a little shocked butshe understands...she always understands me," he said with a smile. "You coming to the beach?" he asked as he washed his plate and stuck it in the drainer.  
  
"Certainly."  
  
Ten minutes later Robert and Dorothy arrived on the beach to find Ella and Elizabeth building a sandcastle by the edge of the water. Robert immediately knelt down to help. The sight of her boss kneeling in the sand helping to build a sandcastle was almost more that Dorothy could have ever imagined. She dragged her chair down by them and read her book, every once in a while offering some building advice.   
  
The temperature climbed as the sun rose in the sky and soon Ella was dragging Robert towards the water. He took her by the hand and let her play in the knee deep water for a little while. She had no fear and was soon heading out deeper than she had been before. "No deeper Ella," said Robert as he gripped her hand tighter.  
  
"Deeper Wob, deeper," she pleaded with a big sandy grin.   
  
"She wants to go out deeper Lizzie," called Robert with just the edge of something in his voice. "Come with us," Elizabeth correctly assumed that although he wanted to take Ella out further he didn't feel comfortable holding her in only one arm.  
  
"Fine. Ella, come take off your shirt," Elizabeth called back as she walked towards her daughter. Robert pulled Ella's pink shirt over her head and without so much as a second thought pulled off his own t-shirt and tossed both of them to Elizabeth. She was shocked. It was the first time Robert had taken off his shirt at the beach but she wisely said nothing about it. After tossing the shirts over the back of Dorothy's chair the trio headed for deeper water. The water was calm and they spent almost half an hour floating over the swells.   
  
Setting down her book Dorothy watched the trio in the water. When she first started working for Robert it was just another housekeeping job. And it remained that way for a few years. In those years she saw very little of Robert, he keep long hours at the hospital during the day and dated a revolving cast of tall, leggy blondes at night. She knew those women were all trophy dates and would never lead to a relationship. As the years went on she tried to get to know Robert a little better and had some success. In the past 15 months they'd become closer than she could have ever imagined. She watched him play in the water with a feeling of pride, a pride that could probably be classified as maternal. For the past few years her children had been trying to get her to retire. And she had been seriously considering it before Robert's accident but since then she had abandoned all ideas of leaving him. As she watched the three of them make their way back to dry land she waved at Ella who was calling her name at the top of her little lungs.  
  
Dorothy pulled a towel out of the bag and she wrapped Ella up in it and settled her on her lap. Ella animatedly told her about time in the water while Dorothy dried her off.   
  
"How about a walk Lizzie?" asked Robert as he pulled he dried off and put his hat back on.   
  
"Sounds lovely," replied Elizabeth with a smile.  
  
"You two go ahead. Ella and I will be fine," Dorothy said.   
  
Robert and Elizabeth took off while Ella showed Dorothy the shells she'd collected. They headed north, walking at the edge of the water. They were quiet, Robert thinking about the unappealing prospect of returning to the ER the day after next. Elizabeth, as usual, knew what was on his mind and just let him be. A few hundred yards down the beach Robert stopped to pick up a few flat stones to try and skip over the water. The first hit the water at too steep an angle and promptly sank in the waves. The second and third stones hit at the right angle and skipped a few times before disappearing. Elizabeth unsuccessfully tried her hand at it, giving up after half a dozen stones. She walked to where Robert was standing and staring out over the water. Drying her hands on the edge of her t-shirt she wrapped her arms around Robert from behind and kissed his stubbled cheek. Robert hadn't shaved since the morning they had left Chicago. He was a little annoyed that his beard was coming in much grayer than he thought it would. But Elizabeth rather liked it and reminded him teasingly that what hair he had left was turning gray.   
  
"How about we both just quit and move here," muttered Robert as his shoulders shook with a slight laugh.  
  
"Sounds good to me," answered Elizabeth, returning the laugh. "Let's head back. I'm hungry and you're starting to burn," she said as she pressed a kiss to his slightly pink shoulder. She took Robert by the hand and turned him around to head back towards their blanket.  
  
After lunch Ella went down for a nap, Dorothy pulled out her knitting and Elizabeth made some phone calls. Robert wandered around the house for a few minutes until Dorothy sent him out to the deck, his pacing was getting on her nerves. Grumbling about how he was being sent outside he grabbed his CD player and a magazine. The magazine did little to hold his attention and Robert dozed off for about an hour.  
  
Their last afternoon on the beach was glorious. Elizabeth and Ella built on last sand castle. Robert and Elizabeth took Ella in the water for a final swim. Damp, sandy and utterly content the they headed back up the beach to get cleaned up for dinner a little after 5.  
  
Robert offered to take everyone out to eat but in the end they decided on going to the seafood market and cooking themselves. Ella discovered the joys of eating lobster and crab but wasn't too keen on the actual claw. She actually screamed when Elizabeth showed her how to open and close it. After their early dinner they headed for one last trip to the boardwalk. They put Ella on some kiddie rides and Robert taught Elizabeth how to play Skeeball. Dorothy treated them to ice cream before they took one final ride on the merry-go-round.  
  
Elizabeth set Ella on a horse and buckled the belt around her waist. Ella gripped the pole with one hand and waved to Dorothy with the other. Robert, much to Elizabeth's surprise and Ella's delight, took a seat on the horse next to Ella. Ella impatiently bounced on the horse as the rest of the riders boarded and pick their horses. Robert saw the ride operator load the brass rings onto the metal arm before lowering the arm into place. Finally the bell sounded and the ride began to turn. Ella giggled as her horse started going up and down. A few revolutions later she noticed the kids trying to reach for the brass rings as they passed by the operator's booth. She pointed excitedly, trying to get Robert's attention.  
  
Robert braced his shoulder against the brass pole and leaned out to the right just a bit. As the carousel completed another revolution he leaned further to grab a ring. The fingers of his right hand just missed the ring and he heard the young boy behind him shout in victory as he took hold of the coveted prize. On the next to last time around Robert looked to his left to see Ella and Elizabeth on the horses next to him. He gave them a smile as he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that they were a part of his life. Looking to his right he reached out one last time for the brass ring. As his fingers curled around it he pulled it free. He held it up triumphantly for Ella to see. She squealed happily and Robert handed it to her.  
  
He knew that his prize wasn't a piece of metal, nicked and dulled from years of handling. His prize was the curly haired, smiling pair on the horses next to him. They were his brass ring. With them he knew he had a chance at happiness.  
  
THE END 


End file.
